And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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