I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
