he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
