have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
