That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
