Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You took a bar mat shot.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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