3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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