So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im holly from the hills drunk
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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