y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
