Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
