I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's never too late to be topless.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
