I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
