Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
