dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
