oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your penis caused this!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
