I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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