So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
