just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
