that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
