dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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