at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
