i jhust puked up my retainher.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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