she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
