ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
