Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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