I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
