the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
