ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
