and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
