My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was confusing and full of hummus
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So vagazzling was a success
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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