Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
