Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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