If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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