it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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