I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
