mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
