its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
