4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize