going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
