I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
