Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Randomize
