i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
