Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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