I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
3 2 1 whiskey
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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