Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
