yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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