walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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