hotel room ftw
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
