Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize