i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
