You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
