escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
