i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need a beard to bite.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
