So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
