Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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