i would punch a child for taco bell
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
