if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
