So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
