Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
