dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
