Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
