i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
