I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
