Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
