Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
