Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
