In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize