is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
