He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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