there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
